The basic argument of A Return To Modesty
is that the feminist movement, in an effort to raise the standard of womanhood, began a
process of erasing differences between men and women that has progressed to the point that
any and all distinguishing characteristics between the sexes (physically, emotionally,
psychologically, and societally) are open for challenge. According to Miss Shalit, while
there may have been benefits to women as a whole, the backlash of negative repercussions
to women as individuals and to womanhood in general has far outweighed the gains made,
namely increasing violence against women and increasing psychological disorders.
"I was born in 1975, and from anorexia to
date-rape, from our utter inability to feel safe on the streets to stories about stalking
and stalkers, from teenage girls finding themselves miserably pregnant to women in the
late 30s and early 40s finding procreation miserably difficult, this culture has not been
kind to women. And it has not been kind to women at the very moment that it has directed
an immense amount of social and political energy to curing their
problems." (page 8)
Miss Shalit asserts that the feminists are to
blame for using the same ideology to battle against the rise of abuses against women that
actually caused the problem. Thus, they continue to throw fuel on the fire. But the
feminists are not the only ones guilty of promoting crimes against women. Conservatives
are to blame for ignoring the outcries of the feminists about the rising abuse of women,
claiming that the feminists are exaggerating and politicizing the problem for their own
gain and, therefore, conservatives do nothing but publicly minimize the situation. Her
complaint, therefore, is that there really is a problem in our society but that the
feminists solution is all wrong and the conservatives ignorance is worse than
wrong.
"First, I want to invite conservatives to
take the claims of the feminists seriously. That is, all of their claims, from the
date-rape figures to anorexia to the shyness of teenage girls, even the number of women
who say they feel objectified by the male gaze. I want them to stop saying
that this or that study was flawed; or that young women are exaggerating; or that it has
been proven that at this or that university such-and-such a charge was made up. Because
ultimately, it seems to me, it doesnt really matter if one study is flawed or if one
charge is false. When it comes down to it, the same vague yet unmistakable problem is
still with us." (page 9)
The main thrust of A Return To Modesty
is that the most important distinguishing characteristic differentiating between women and
men is modesty, that the feminist have effectively won the battle eradicating modesty as a
womanly virtue in America, and that the successful eradication can be directly correlated
with the rise of crimes and abuses against women today.
"I propose that the woes besetting the
modern young woman sexual harassment, stalking, rape, even whirlpooling
(when a group of guys surround a girl who is swimming and then sexually assault her)
are all expressions of a society which has lost its respect for female
modesty." (page 10)
To support her thesis, Miss Shalit uses the
Christian worldview to establish modesty as "a reflex, arising naturally to help a
woman protect her hopes and guide their fulfillment specifically, this hope for one
man." (page 94) In other words, modesty is not a product of societal dogma but,
rather, an inherent virtue of both men and women, as natural as breathing, but more
forceful in women. Though Miss Shalit doesnt say it explicitly, one comes to the
conclusion that she promotes the belief that modesty is implanted within us by our Creator
rather than developed through external pressures or behavioral modification.
Modesty, which may be provisionally defined as
an almost instinctive fear prompting to concealment and usually centering around the
sexual processes, while common to both sexes is more peculiarly feminine, so that it may
almost be regarded as the chief secondary sexual character of women on the psychical side.
-- HAVELOCK ELLIS, 1899
While a created order may be subtly implied
throughout her book, she adamantly and unapologetically defends her position insisting on
the differing nature and roles between men and women. Her first encounter of the notion
that there are no differences between the genders was in class at Williams College. When
she spoke out in favor of male/female differences she was declared an
"essentialist" by her classmates (one who believes there is a difference between
men and women) and quickly discounted as someone who had anything to offer to the
discussion.
Indeed, much of A Return To Modesty is
dedicated to identifying the male/female differences as they relate to the advancement of
a womans safe and contributory place in society. "Modesty acknowledged this
special vulnerability [of the differences between the sexes], and protected it. It made
women equal to men as women. Encouraged to act immodestly, a woman exposes her
vulnerability and she then becomes, in fact, the weaker sex. A woman can argue that
she is exactly the same as a man, she may deny having any special vulnerability, and act
accordingly, but I cannot help noticing that she usually ends up exhibiting her feminine
nature anyway, only this time in victimhood, not in strength." (page 108)
"Not only do we think there are
differences between the sexes, but we think these differences can have a beautiful meaning
a meaning that isnt some irrelevant fact about us but one that can inform and
guide our lives. Thats why were swooning over nineteenth-century dramas and
clothing. We want our dignity back, our feminine mystique back, and, along
with it, the notion of male honor." (page 140)
"Today we want to pretend there are no
differences between the sexes, and so when they first emerge we give our little boys
Ritalin to reduce their drive, and our little girls Prozac to reduce their sensitivity. We
try to cure them of what is distinctive instead of cherishing these differences and
directing them towards each other in a meaningful way." (page 153)
Her Christian worldview includes observations
of the repercussions of the feminist movement on men and manhood also. "Too many
egalitarians equate male gentleness or protectiveness with subordination, while too many
conservatives equate it with effeminacy. Both sides are wrong. A man should be gentle
around a woman. Thats part of what it means to be a man. We need to flip everything
around again and associate manhood with knowing how to behave, not misbehave, around
women." (page 147) Thus she asserts that one aspect of manhood is acting honorably
toward women and that by erasing the male-female distinctions we have raised a generation
of boys that has been mis-trained and, thus, short-changed in their manhood.
Closely associated with female modesty and male
honor is the idea of human dignity for both genders. Miss Shalit asserts that men are less
boorish when expected to recognize and act modestly toward women thus exalting their
stature as man rather than mere beast. Likewise, the woman is acknowledged as a real
person deserving of human dignity and respect rather than as a piece of property to be
exploited at the will of any man who comes along.
"You may think you see me, the modestly
dressed woman announces, but you do not see the real me. The real me is only for my
beloved to see. Therefore, whatever you may say or think about me doesnt really
matter. The woman who complains about sexual harassment or elevator eyes is
not a frail, weak woman, nor is she the invention of a few radical feminists. She is,
rather, a woman exposed and expressing a very real fear: that the one who is judging her
is not the one who loves her, not the one who knows the real her. Hence, he is
presuming. A respect for modesty would prevent men from leering, from presuming to judge
women whom they have not earned the trust of." (page 137)
There are three additional ways in which Miss
Shalit articulates the Christian worldview to support her case. First, she argues that the
failure of the feminist movement is its inability to anticipate the fallout from its
faulty ideology on different levels of society. She identifies some of these effects thus
promoting the biblical view of integration in the created order rather than isolation. Her
proposed solution supports the same integration ideology as well as promoting the biblical
model of blessings for conformity to the created order and curses for rebelling against
the created order.
Second, Miss Shalits proposed solution
shows concern for the particulars (individual women) and the whole (womanhood) whereas she
identifies that the feminist movement is concerned solely for the whole with little or no
regard for the particulars and their suffering.
Third, Miss Shalit employs a linear view when
explaining the course of history that has brought us to where we are today, rather than a
circular or evolutionary view that focuses on the swing of the pendulum or reoccurring
cycles. Accordingly, she does not propose that todays sexual atmosphere is a passing
fad, one that we only need to learn to deal with until it is gone. Rather, she proposes
that the consequence of causes were put into place by prior generations and, thus, the
solution is to begin implementing the right causes today for the sake of future
generations.
A Return To Modesty is a call for the
return to youthful innocence, naivete, romanticism, idealism, and hope. It is a call for
human dignity according to the created order. It is a call for men to be manish rather
than machine and women to encourage men to treat them with respect and dignity. It is a
call for us all to realize our strengths through submitting to our weaknesses.
"First, by not having sex before marriage,
you are insisting on your right to take these things seriously, when many around you do
not seem to. By reserving a part of you for someone else, you are insisting on your right
to keep something sacred; you are welcoming the prospect of someone else making an
enduring private claim to you, and you to him. But more significantly, not having sex
before marriage is a way of insisting that the most interesting part of your life will
take place after marriage, and if its more interesting, maybe then it will
last. And, if the hope of modesty continues, if it lasts, maybe then you can finally be
safe. Instead of living in dread, feeling slightly hunted, afraid someone will call us to
account and abandon us, maybe then we can rest. At a time when everyone else seems to be
giving up hope, a return to modesty represents a new start. Modesty creates a realm that
is secure from an increasingly competitive and violent public one." (page 212)
What do you think about
this issue? Give us your FEEDBACK.
To review Miss Shalit's article, Modesty Revisited, click HERE to go to
Hillsdale College.
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